Although he regularly goes without shelter, the Bum has led a sheltered life. For example, he was completely ignorant of the strange world of sports marketing … until last week, when his pal Wayne Curtis alerted him to the debut of the Rum Bum, a race car owned by Luis Bacardi, the great-grandson of the founder of Bacardi Rum.

We don’t need to tell you that the Bum is not associated with the Rum Bum. You know perfectly well that the only racing we do is to the 7/11 when we run out of ice. But we found the Rum Bum press releases such compelling reading that we thought we’d share some excerpts with you. This comes from a March 21st release posted on the Grand-Am Rolex Sports Car Series site:

“Rum Bum’s business plan includes the launch of, Rum Bum TV, Rum Bum Gear and the development and marketing of Rum Bum signature products. Through the sponsorship of future events, increased brand awareness and name recognition will position Rum Bum to become a recognized brand and lifestyle.”

Certainly if you can brand a cow, you can brand a car. But how do you turn a race car into a lifestyle? A May 12th press release on the same site shed some light on the subject:

“…Rum Bum will also have Rum Bum Girls at the airport to distribute invitations to the fans. On Friday, May 16 at 10:00 PM, Rum Bum is throwing another exciting Rum Bum Night powered by [a] Caramba Tequila party at the Hippodrome night club in Monterey.”

Okay, we’re sold on the Rum Bum Girls. (Can’t wait for the Sir Mix-a-Lot video.) But we’re a tad confused about the tequila thing. They’re promoting a car owned by Bacardi — a car with rum in its very name — with a tequila party?

Our faith in their marketing savvy was not restored when we Googled “Rum Bum” and found this definition of the term on Urban “Rum Bum. Used to describe the runny, splattery, and gassy shits, usually experienced after a long night of consuming rum and cokes.” The dictionary follows up with an example of the term’s proper usage: “Wow, I’ve got a real bad case of rum bum today, I’ve gone shit three times in the last hour!”

Well, at least we’ve stopped fantasizing about the Rum Bum Girls.


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